Loyal but Unfaithful: Bakit nagloloko ang mga lalaki?

Why do birds suddenly appear? Every time, you are near?
Where’s the “good” in goodbyes?
Why Samson loves Delilah?
Where is the love?
Is there life after death?
Are you and me gonna be together?
Does Jennifer Love Hewitt?
What is Victoria’s secret?
Bakit baliktad magbasa ng libro ang mga Pilipino?

Ilan lang ang mga ito sa mga tanong ng karamihan. Pero isa na yata sa pinaka controversial na katanungan na na-engkwentro ko ay kung bakit “nagloloko” ang mga lalake?

Ayon kay Bb. Webster Dictionary ang “Cheating” daw is  being sexually unfaithful (intransitive verb) or violating rules dishonestly and practicing fraud or trickery. Cheater ka daw kapag you are a dishonest person who uses clever means to cheat others out of something of value. Marami pa siyang definition, siguro, siya ang unang biktima ng panloloko.

Bakit nga ba nagloloko ang mga lalake? – pero teka, nanloloko nga ba kami? Mahirap i-defend ang something na hindi naman namin ginagawa.

One man asked me, “why do you call it cheating ba? kasi meron kang girlfriend tapos naghanap ka ng iba? kasi may responsibility ka na pero gusto mo pa ng dagdag? or kasi nag eenjoy ka na, gusto mo pa ng isa?”

So there. Title palang debate na. According to Men’s Universal Law – (after ng 10 utos ng diyos) magkapitpitan na ng itlog, wag na wag kang ….

Rule 11: papahuli;
Rule 12: aamin;

Extended version:
Rule 13: Ituro ang katabi/Isisi sa iba;

Mahirap nga naman mag tanong ng basta basta nalang, kasi para akong namimintang; hindi rin naman sila sasagot talaga, kasi yun ay tanda na ng pag-amin. So walang lalakeng nagloloko – unless ready na siyang umamin. Which, according to the law stated above – e hindi dapat gawin kahit kelan.

“I cant say what we've done is cheating” stated one fella of mine. “you can only call it cheating pag may pinirmahan ka na at sinelyuhan ng singsing; Pero kung GF palang yan, you’re not cheating, you’re just enjoying your options, or if not enjoying, choosing your options;

“Kasi kaya…” said one person I knew. Dahil marami daw incompetent na lalake. Sa halos lahat ng aspeto siguro. Kaya bakit daw sisihin yung mga “may kakayahan?” We are covering for our fellow men. I have the talent, let me cover up for you. “Parang calls lang yan (call center setting,) hindi pwedeng drop ka lang ng drop ng calls; at dahil nag drop na yung iba, malamang ikaw sasalo nung iba…” Sumpa pa nga daw ang pagiging “talentado.”

Pumasok din ang theory ng  inverse proportion of our population. Kasi nga daw, mas maraming babae kesa sa lalake. The more you have, the more you need… (bahala ka na mag dugtong.) Less talk, less mistake. More talk, more mistake. More girls, more mistake. Margin of error is huge. Parang raffle, the more entries you have, the more chances of winning. Maraming babae, means maraming options- meaning maraming tukso.

For me, there is no such thing as 90% - 10% theory. Eto yung, ang mga mahal natin daw ay nag tataglay lang ng 90% ng mga katangian na gusto natin sa isang tao. The rest, wala daw talaga sa kanya. Therefore, men daw tends to seek the other 10% sa iba. Love is immeasurable; walang 90% lang kitang mahal etc etc. Mahal kung mahal. Hindi kung hindi.

Parang si Voldemort lang yan (Harry Potter’s BFF,) hindi talaga makukuntento sa isa. Mas marami, mas masaya. Ang tawag dito “Horcrux” theory. You put a bit of your soul sa isa (at sa ibat ibang) entity,

Isa sa pinaka worst reason is, a guy just had the wrong woman from the get go. Na realize lang nung hindi na pwedeng makakawala. We call it Pinilit mode;

Inborn na sa mga lalake ang magmahal. Ang primary function daw kasi ng mga lalake ay to spread our lahi. You can’t blame a guy daw who’s fulfilling his duty for mankind.

How we perceived things/ideas are based on our society; society tells us that you have to be good looking because that’s what’s acceptable etc - that you need to have this, and that to be in.  Unless you are committed, you’re not cheating; commitment is defined by our society as being married; unmarried are free agents; but kung married naman ang guy, babalik lang tayo sa mga topic sa itaas to justify what he is doing. (hehe)

What women don’t know about us, men, is that - we can love multiple things/people at the same time –at the same level. Innate talent. Capable kami. And we’re not sorry for that.

Ang pako, pwedeng bumutas kahit saan; pero ang butas, hindi pwedeng pumako kahit kelan.

Pag narinig niyo sa mga partner niyo tong mga to, you know what to do.

My girl nailed it the best – “kaya ka nga nasa commitment eh!” with matching padyak ng paa at mataas na boses.

My prayer goes to all who’ve been cheated on.

WALANG NAGLOLOKONG LALAKE, KASI WALANG UMAAMIN… unless nahuli.

-Raj

Of Video Scandals and Sex Videos

Feast your eyes on the newest scandal that was made public! No, I'm not talking about Chito Miranda and Neri Naig. I'm talking about those who dwell on the issue thinking that they knew better off the two of them and that this issue will be added to a long list of leaked sex videos.

I'd be honest with you, I've seen their video. And for me, there is nothing wrong with it. I pity those who give snide comments about the issue like they should not have done the video in the first place. So what if they did? They are two consenting adults that video taped their romp which allegedly got stolen and was uploaded on the internet. If I ever made a sex video and if they were uploaded on social sites, I have nothing to be ashamed for or feel sorry about. I am an adult, I did that with my partner's blessing and for those who did saw the video, enjoy.

Suddenly I admire this beautiful young woman who also became involved with a leaked video but decided to keep mum about it. She recently got married and is now a happy housewife to her singer husband. Silence truly is golden.

If I were Chito, I would not cry foul. I'd rather say "ayos ba?" Come on, I am Chito Miranda. Shame on those TV personalities who enjoy talking about the issue and give out hypocritical comments, "ang pa-plastic nyo."

And to you Chito, here's my personal message to you:

"More!"

-Sheldon

Crab Mentality

Sa magkakapatid, hindi mo maiiwasan ang inggitan. Dahil na rin siguro sa pagpapalaki ng magulang na hindi mo din masisisi kung merong kakampihan sa magkakapatid, hindi naman kasi sila magkaka pareho ng asal at ugali. Kahit na rin siguro sa magkakabarkada o magkaka-opisina ay mayroong inggitan, pero ang hindi ko matanggap tanggap ay iyong sisiraan ka pa para lang makuha ang gusto nila.

Ang tinatawag na pagiging utak talangka ng mga Pilipino ang pinaka ayoko sa lahat ng mga masasamang ugali natin kasunod ng tinatawag na filipino time at mañana habit. ‘Yun bang bakit kailangan mong dumating sa punto na kailangan mong ilaglag yung mga taong wala namang kinalaman sa kasalukuyang estado mo para makuha mo ang gusto mo o kaya para madungisan mo man lang sila para makaganti dahil hindi naging patas ang antas ng mga trabaho ninyo?

Ano ba ang kailangan nating patunayan dito? Na mas madami tayong ginagawa kumpara sa iba? Na dapat ay mas malaki ang nakukuha nating benepisyo kaysa sa mga inaakala mong walang ginagawa?

Sino ba ang nagsabi sa iyo na tanggapin mo kung magkano ang nakukuha mo ngayon? Sila ba?

Sino ba ang nagsabi sa iyo na pumayag ka sa kontrata mo? Sila ba?

Kung magiging ganyan ang usapan e mas malaki pala ang karapatan kong magreklamo, pero bakit ko naman gagawin iyon? Bakit ko kailangang isisi sa iba ang mga kinahinatnan ng mga desisyon na pinasok ko?

‘Yan ang hirap sa atin e, nauuna ang pagtingin natin sa ginagawa ng iba bago ang mga sarili natin. Nauuna lagi ang pagsilip sa kabilang plato at huhusgahan kagad ang kapitbahay dahil ang ulam nila ay manok.

Kaya tayo hindi umaasenso e.

Bangon Pilipino! Dahil kapag hindi ka nagbago, mauubos ang mga taong marunong magsikap sa sarili at hindi kailangang manghila ng paa ng iba. Mauubos sila dahil lahat sila ay titira na sa ibang bansa at walang matitira sa iyo kung hindi ang mga taong walang ginawa kundi mainggit sa sitwasyon ng iba.

Bitter.

-Sheldon

Friend

Fred has and always been my closest friend especially on those times that I was alone. You see, living a life without anyone to talk or converse to for almost a month is unnerving. I’m loud. I’m a conversationalist. I’m a clown. It would be a culture shock for me not to be engaged in any small talks. May it be just goof around talk or a closed-door meeting; I have to be the one speaking. I have to communicate. I must.

So being away from my family and my lady for a month was really sad. I wake up each day with no one to greet a good morning or good evening to. I eat alone and have no one to talk about what happened yesterday and no one to discuss with about my plans for tomorrow. I was almost on the verge of going somewhere; maybe meet a stranger or two, just to know I’m not alone.

But I wasn’t alone all along.

During the times I felt alone, Fred’s there looking at me and asking me to pick him up and play him. I was alive again. I was able to fight off boredom and sadness with him by my side. I even started filming myself with him. The feeling was surreal. I’m so glad I have him. The confidence in me got back whenever he is with me. I wish he will last ‘til I’m old enough and can still carry a guitar.

Yes a folk, Fred’s a guitar.

Meet “Fred,” my new found friend. I called it as such because it was given as a gift by my good friend, Alfred Sajot III – thus the name. I also find the name cute, so the name stuck.

At least once in our lives, we will feel alone in this world. That even though we see a lot of people, it will still feel like you’re on your own. One needs a friend to be relevant again. Fred made the musician-wannabe in me, alive again.

Fred, I love you ‘tol, together with James the Bike, my good old friends.

Here’s the song we made together called “Sayo.”

-Raj

The Struggle for Power

Being a politician is a full-time job. There's no 'clock-out',no 'overtime pay' and definitely no 'rest days' And yet, you can see a lot of them are fighting for the position. Makes you wonder, how much are they getting paid for? What are the qualifications for me to be a politician?

Let me answer the first question by giving you this list I found through Google;

Position                               Monthly Salary

President                                  57,750

Vice President                  46,200 - 54,917

Senator                            40,425 - 48,052

Congressman                   40,425 - 48,052

Governor                          28,875 - 34,323

Mayor                               23,422 - 27,842

The mayor's  monthly salary is just the same as a call center agent salary. And an Operations Manager from a good call center earns as much as 100k per month.  Now, do you still want to run for office? Believe it or not, a number of people would still say yes to this. For them, it's not always about the money you can earn legally, it's also about the connections, favors, power, and money you can get from the people around you. Now who wouldn't want that right? I can open a Meth lab in Marikina and nobody can question that since I'm the Mayor or maybe a Senator. I can get favors from the local gambling or drug lords and receive thousands of money on a regular basis without that much effort, I just have to tell the police to leave those guys alone and I'll be secured for the rest of my term, or maybe even after my term, since I already acquired the connection I need! Huh, So much for being born in a democratic and catholic country where stealing is punishable by God and by law, when people who steal are from the church and from the government.

Now, question number 2: Qualifications.

As per Section 3, Article VI of the 1987 Philippine Constitution: A senatorial candidate should qualify by being:

• Natural-born citizen
• At least 35 years old on the day of the election
• Able to read and write
• A registered voter
• A resident of the Philippines for not less than 2 years immediately preceding the day of the election

Now I don't know 'bout you, but for me, I believe this 'list' lacks a lot of factors. For example: 

• Being mentally stable and with an IQ of at least 88 which is a bit higher than the average Filipino.
• Morally straight and is a good role model.
• Has respect for himself.
• Etc. I know you guys can add up to this list.

Being a politician means you're a leader and a role model. You will represent our country to other countries so automatically, you should know how to speak well using our native tongue, and the business language which is English. Politicians are also called public servants, so you should put the people of whom you serve first, so you should know how to prioritize. You will be responsible for handling your people's money, so you should know how to budget properly, handle money wisely and know how to differentiate your money from the people's money. So we as the voters should be very vigilant with whom we put in power.

Especially now since the supposed requirement of being "able" to serve our country has been changed from the list above to just being popular and charismatic, and sometimes pretty or handsome and rich. Or most popular these days; being a member of a family of politicians or what we now call 'traditional politicians'.

What the hell, right?

I mean, can't we have someone like Boy Abunda? Or maybe Winnie Monsod? Heck, I can even accept Bob Ong as a candidate. Though he doesn't have the experience required, or the background and family name to support candidacy, he at least has a firm grasp of how the Filipino world works! And he can speak and write understandable English and I can say he will be able to rub elbows with politicians here and abroad. But that's just my opinion of course.

My point is, can't we do better? Haven't we learned from our history of failed governance from previous leaders?  Are we so deep in the dirt that we can't even afford to pay attention to detail?

You are who you vote. So does this mean most of the voters now are stupid, uneducated, robbers, rapists, and only rely upon their parents for their own good?

Then we're doomed.

-Leonard

Elevator Ghosts

If you ask any random person where to find ghosts, they will undoubtedly say hospitals.

Hospitals are often frequented by ghosts due to the aura that surrounds them such as death, pain, loneliness and despair. often times, these negative energies seep into the structure itself and thus manifestations happen.

I've encountered a lot of these so called hospital ghosts. I lived in one of the biggest hospitals in Manila because my father was confined with cancer and for five months, I've seen and experienced a lot of them but the stories I love are not from me but from the nurses who did their rounds and experienced these hauntings first hand.

One particular nurse told me a story of how she met a scary apparition that almost made her quit her job. She was assigned in the Operating room of the Hospital located at the ground floor. The nurse was asked to get supplies for the next operation located at basement four of the hospital. All the other nurses are afraid to go down to the basement because it is near the morgue but being the non believer of the group, she just shrugged and went to the basement.

Everything went normal from the elevator trip down to the supply room. When she picked up all the supplies she needed, she went straight to the elevator and pressed the up button when the elevator opened. A man in his late twenties wearing a hospital gown is already inside and made way for her to enter. She was already inside the elevator when a young boy came rushing and yelled stop but she immediately pressed close.

The guy with him asked her why she didn't let the boy get in, she told her that she is not a believer of the paranormal but the boy is already dead. The boy died during the operation that very morning and that the boy is also wearing a red tag on his left arm, A tag for dead bodies in the morgue when the guy beside him  pulled up his sleeve and told her,

"oh, you mean like this one?"

She woke up two days later.

-Sheldon

The Greatest Pain

What is the greatest pain of all? My friends and I had our own share of stories of what I mean and lately, we realized we have something in common and it all boils down to one root cause.

I’ve been into trouble because of something that I think I did not do. It is because of misinterpretation of "Lying". You tell me, if something isn’t told, will it be considered lying? Isn't it that when we tell a fabricated story, then that's the time that it is a lie? In your argument, we have had this talk before, that you expect me to tell you everything. I admit that I did not comply and the expectations are not met, but it was not a lie. I understand the hurt and pain that you are in. I have been there and even experienced worst. You hoped for the best in me but I was complacent and hard headed. You gave me a chance and I blew it.

Betrayal can be forgiven but it will definitely leave a mark that will mold us to who we are now or tomorrow. It is still a choice of what will be our resolution. If we choose to hope, trust or love again but it will never be the same. Some choose to close themselves to prevent themselves from being in the same position that they were when they were betrayed. Some move on and keeps on living, ready and willing to get hurt again as long as it is in the arms of their loved one or never stops until they find the right one. Some needs time and time can heal pain. Some needs assurance, but how? Words are always not enough for me but this is the only thing that we can hold on to if we are out of time.

 "Lie is a good story ruined by the truth." - Barney Stinson

"To lie is to deliver a false statement to another person which the speaking person knows is not the whole truth, intentionally." - Wikipedia

Feel free to choose your definition.

-Howard

Sa Kinauukulan

Sa totoo lang, napakadaling i-handle ng mga lalake sa isang relasyon. You dont need to be the most beautiful girl, the most charming or even the most talked about lady in town. Mayroon ka lang dapat gawin para maging maayos ang inyong pagsasama.

Don’t box us out. Minsan hindi maiiwasan na ikompara kami sa mga ex niyo. Call it force of habit, pero minsan hinahanap hanap niyo yung dati niyong ginagawa. Kung madalas kayo ng ex mo magtalo pero yung bago mo tahimik lang kaya naiirita ka. O kung ganito si ex dati, ganito ka naman etc, understandable yun, pero unacceptable. Kaya Wag na wag ipagmalaki si ex kay current, kasi kung mas ok siya, di sana kayo pa hindi ba? Or make your man do this and that because that’s what you want. Oo nga, reyna namin kayo, at kung pwede lang lahat ng gusto nyo gagawin namin pero tao kami. We’ve been living as we are for a long time nung wala ka pa. Some things can be changed, some cannot. Gaya nang kung vocal si bf saying things that you deemed paulit ulit or nakakasawa, you can remind him, but not to the point na maramdaman niyang mas makakabuti na hindi na lang kumibo kasi baka masabihan ng paulit-ulit at nakakasawa.

Be malambing/nalalambing. Girls, lalake kami. We’re born to show how we love someone. Kung innate skill naming ang maglambing, yun din ang deal killer samin. Kahit gano pa ka buwisit ang isang sitwasyon, ka badtrip, isang lambing mo lang, pustahan tayo, ngingiti kami. Nakakawala ng kahit na anong negative emotion ang isang babaeng nagpapalambing na, malambing pa. Pinoy tayo, dapat master natin yan. Meron kasing mga babaeng nawawala na yung sweet factor kasi Bf na niya si Bf niya. O kaya, kasi graduate na daw. May obligasyon tayo sa mga partner natin. At isa dyan ang pagiging malambing. Besides, this is how you’ll get your new shoes or bags hehehe, Konting lambing lang yan, odibadibs?

Honesty. Don’t commit kung wala kang balak maging matino. You want to play? Then be single. Don’t commit. Aminado ako na maraming lalakeng tarantado, pero maraming paring matino, if you know what to do. You don’t need to hurt us by being a flirt whenever we’re not around. Or wasting your time trying to look for a perfect love, and staying with us kasi wala pa si Mr Better. To find a perfect love, if there’s such a thing, is to be perfect. You can’t have it, if you’re not. Wanna find a good guy? Be a good girl. Stick with us kasi you want or need to. If you can’t, don’t commit. Yun lang yun. Believe me girl, kung beterana ka, may palaging mas beterano sayo. True and lasting relationship is a result of two working individuals who commit to each other.

Appreciate us, see our worth and recognize our importance. Binilhan ka ng cake ni Bf. Hindi ka na nga nag thank you muna, napansin mo pa agad yung sablay na bakit maliit yung binili? O kaya pinagluto ka ng breakfast, pinagluto ka, at ang una mong nakita, e yung ulam na kulang sa bawang. What the fuck? Really? Effort na lahat lahat, yung sablay parin ang unang nakita? 9 of 10 efforts at sa pang labing isa pa naming nakuha ang matamis mong “thank you?” believe me, lahat ng lalake gagawa ng paraan para sa minamahal, pero madaling mabulag yan ng iba kapag ganito ka. Susmeyo. Matuto kang maging grateful bago maging hateful. Also, lalake kami, nasa DNA naming yung feeling na needed kami. At isa rin yun sa hinahanap namin sa isang babae. Yung kita at ramdam yung halaga namin. Yung tipong, kahit kalaban ko na ang mundo, kakampi pa rin kita, manalo matalo. Parang Ginebra, do or die, we fight together. Yung simpleng porma lang kami, pero ngiting wagas ka kasi you find us cute o bago sa paningin. Yung nakikita niyo at pinaparamdam niyo na thankful kayo kasi kahit papano, merong kami sa buhay niyo. It’s one of the nicest feeling na pwedeng maramdaman ng lalake. Hindi ito yung tipong gagawin niyo kaming driver or meal ticket. Kahit yung simpleng pag abot lang kasi hindi niyo abot, “buti nalang matangkad ka…” “buti alam mo yung lugar na pupuntahan natin?...” “Nax, pormado ah, san binyag?...” “buti na lang andito ka…” madami pang simpleng bagay para maka appreciate. Makaalala lang kayo, appreciate and treat us the way we do, and malapit lapit ka na sa katotohanan niyan.

Lastly, Love us. Minsan, kahit ikaw na ang pinaka buraot na babae sa balat ng lupa, bukod sa mahal ka ng lalake, dapat mahal mo rin siya. Sapat na yun para burahin naming mga lalake lahat ng imperfection meron kayong mga babae. Pakita at paramdam mo sa amin na kami lang. Love us, just us. At sayong sayong lang ang lalake mo.

-Raj

The Genius Life

I've always been fascinated by how the human mind works, how it can come up with a good decision although it's the first time they've encountered the issue or how they can choose between two similar options and still be proud or shocked about their own choices.

Scribbling nonsense, obsessive compulsiveness, being eccentric, weird habits, daydreaming, drug abuse. These are just some of the habits a person with mental retardation will show. But, it is also the habits of geniuses like Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, Socrates and Sheldon Cooper.

But what does it take to be like them? And if given the opportunity, would you like to be one of them?

Let's look at it this way, they have given much contribution to science and the world in general. They have explained how things work and a better understanding of our surroundings. They are popular, smart, and most probably rich. But of course it's not all fun and games and pretty things. Most of these geniuses experienced trauma in their lives that MAY have led to the discovery of the things they have discovered. Or, they are considered what we now call "borderline autism". Or just plain weird. And because of these traits and odd personalities, they are uneasy w/ their current surroundings, so they end up thinking of ways to better their lives.

But is it worth it? I mean, yes they have done considerable achievement in their respective fields and a big contribution to humanity. But if you think about it, they've led a harsh life. Being bullied in school just because you're different. Being called a nerd. Being ignored by the 'crush ng bayan'. Being the subject of criticism and gossip just because you're the teachers pet. Not being able to enjoy your childhood just because you're an outcast, a geek, a nerd, a loser.

So here's something to think about, would you like to live a normal life and enjoy your childhood and die as a somebody? Or live like a nerd, mature at a very young age and die as a legend?

-Leonard 

Social Networking Vanity

People post a lot on social networking sites like facebook and twitter. Nowadays, they will check in on their location, tag a friend who they are with, what they are doing and even what they’re going to eat.

But do we really need to believe everything that a friend posts?

For example, a former agent of mine just posted recently that he went out on an intimate date with a hot girl. Now, it’s not that I don’t trust the guy but my argument is about his post. Why do you have to post something like that? Can’t you just tell the story to your friends and talk about it like normal people do? Do you want to be a topic in the next beer episode where you will be the guy who gets to go out with the hot girl? Or do you want to tell everybody that you can do it too?

I call this the trophy effect. It’s one way of saying “hey, I did it” or “I’m one of the guys now”.

But riddle me this. Shouldn’t we be more afraid of that certain someone who doesn’t post on facebook? On someone who doesn’t have much online activities? 

Those types of people have nothing to prove themselves because they know they can do it and not count the deeds but rather laugh at the people who do.  

Remember, the greater the silence, the greater the mystery.

Just Sayin’

-Sheldon

On Falling Down and Rising Up

I’ve been a jerk these past few days. I did something stupid, so stupid that it made me feel like a jerk or should I say a dumbass. I was never like this, that I create scenarios or formulate ideas that seem too far from happening. I was never the type of guy that always gives meaning to something that I saw and hear.

“…you failed me, again.”

I can’t remember the last time I was affected by mere words from someone. Come on, I’ve worked in Call Centers and I am used to the idea of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” but those four words really hit the target. It was like everything that I’ve done went straight to the bins. I couldn’t even utter a single word. My world went down with my tears. It hurts not because someone special said those to me but the fact that I was the one who made her say it.

I hate losing. I hate failing. I hate being second-rate. I hate it. I hate the truth that I made a mistake that eventually backfired. Call it karma. I call it plain stupidity.

That’s why when the message registered into my phone, I was stunned and just looked at it for more than a minute. “…You failed me”, “…already killed me” and “…again” made it worse.

I realized I should never be like this. I was never like this. I was never the jerk. I was the boss of my own life. I have my own diskartes, moves, my pick-ups, my swag, my confidence. I never cared about what happened yesterday, what matters to me is today.

 I wish I could re-do it. I wish I could erase it. But the damage has been done. I made a mistake, I earned my price.

But I just wish she would understand. I hope she will eventually understand.

I will not defend myself. What I did was wrong. But I have my reasons. And I stand with what I thought was right at that time. But now I knew better.

I fall down, I will rise up. No other way for me but up.

I learned not to let our mind deceive or bring us down. Sometimes it works against us just to see who the boss is. Got to let the brain know who’s in-charge.

Things only matter in the mind. If you never mind, things would never matter.

I must stop thinking and will start doing.

-Raj

Generation Gap

Liempo - A good mixture of meat and fats

Kamatis - For acidity

Labanos - Texture and a bit of sweetness

Sitaw - Texture and to even out the flavor a bit (For long life?)

Kang-kong - For texture and crispiness

Siling panigang - Just a hint of spiciness

Gabe - For the full thick soup goodness

And of course..

Sampaloc - To give it the full sinigang experience

Now that's a home cooked meal!

I don't know about you, but I can say that I (27 yrs of age) grew up in a generation where music was good and was made using wooden or brass instruments, playing outside means rough-housing, playing hide-and-seek and not in front of a computer, and courtship means you visit her and her family to impress them personally and not through Facebook or Skype, and a home cooked meal means it was cooked by your Mom from scratch. And it was great! Almost everything was made with love, passion and attention. Custom made. To a persons liking. We didn't use the term "Pwede na yan!", instead, you will often hear "Kulang pa yan!".  It was a time where quality matters and not just the number of things you can do in one sitting.

The generation today won't get this, since we now live in a time where everything is "instant". May it be  noodles, coffee, photo, letters/mail, music, movies, girlfriend/s and food, etc. Everyone is rushing, everyone seems to be in a hurry to finish what they needed or wanted to do. Just so they can waste their time sitting in front of their computers or TV sets and get hypnotized by the swirling colors of the boob tube. Where is the love in that? What's happening?

Now I am a father of two (yet again, legally speaking) and I don't want them to miss out on the wonderful things in life. So I promised  myself to teach them the old way, and can I just say, better way of doing things. Slower? Yes. But way worth the wait and effort.

Let me express how I feel in tagalog.

Nakaka-miss yung panahon na na-eexcite ka dahil alam mo na ang ulam ninyo ay sinigang, at nandun ka sa hapag-kainan, pina-panood ang nanay mo habang pinapakuluan nya ang karne ng baboy, at sa unang kulo ay pipigaan nya ng kamatis para pandagdag sa lasa at bango at ipa-pagpatuloy ang pagpa-pakulo hanggang sa lumambot ang karne, at habang hinihintay ninyo yun ay tuturuan ka ng tamang pag-hiwa ng mga sangkap na gulay habang ipinapaliwanag sayo ang silbi ng bawat isang rekado. At sa paglambot ng karne ay ipa-paliwanag din sa iyo ang tamang bilang o pagkakasunod-sunod ng pag-lagay ng mga rekado para mapanatili ang lasa at itsura ng sinigang. Hanggang dumating na sa pagtimpla ng lasa, ang pag-katas o paglalagay ng sampaloc. Mahirap, mabusisi, kailangan ng tyaga.

At sa pag-hain ng nanay mo ng bagong saing na kanin at mainit na ulam, at sa pag-higop ng medyo malapot na sabaw ng sinigang na luto niya , walang nag-uusap, walang reaksyon maliban sa mga simpleng ngiti sa aming mga labi, dahil alam naming lahat na wala pa rin tatalo sa lutong bahay. Sa luto na di ginamitan ng "instant" kundi pagmamahal.

Korni, oo, pero alam mo na totoo ang sinasabi ko.

Chocolate can make you smile, but nothing can soothe you better than your Moms' home cooked meal.

-Leonard

The Ghost of Mary Cherry Chua

This is a very popular urban legend here in the Philippines. This was made even more popular when the book, True Philippine Ghost Stories, published the story. Now whether you believe the story or not, is up to you. I will try to retell the story here as much as I can.

Mary Cherry Chua was a young high school student in a prestigious all-girls school here in Manila. She was very well-known in her school because she was not only pretty, she was also very smart and kind. She also came from a rich family. In short, she was Miss Popular in her school. In the stories, she was described as a young girl with long black hair, creamy white skin, chinky black eyes, and was always smiling.

One day, Mary Cherry had to stay late in school because of an activity. It was near dusk already when she said goodbye to her classmates. Later that night, the frantic parents of Mary Cherry called her classmates one by one asking if they had seen their daughter, since the girl has not arrived home yet and this was very unusual since Mary Cherry diligently goes home after school. However, not one of Mary Cherry's classmates were able to say where she was.

The following morning, Mary Cherry's body was found behind a shrubbery in the school's spacious yard. She was strangled to death with her own necktie, her skirt all the way up to her chest and her panty was found below her ankles: clear indication that she was raped. Her mouth was still open, evidently she struggled for breath as her assailant choked her. Her grieving, outraged parents of course cried justice for their daughter. It was a huge scandal at that time. The school had to do damage control because what happened would not only put a black mark on the name of the school, if they wanted to keep their students (which I mentioned were all girls), they have to catch the culprit and they have to do it fast.

It was the school's good luck that the rapist went forward on his own accord. It turned out to be the school janitor who was recently fired because of being caught sleeping on the job. He decided to rape a student because he knew that it will reflect negatively on the school and he just chose Mary Cherry because she was the one of the most popular girls there. He felt really guilty after doing his crime and since his conscience continued to plagued him, he decided to surrender. The janitor was put into prison and to serve as a token to Mary Cherry's memory, the school administration erected a stone bench on the exact spot where her body was found with the words "In Memory of Mary Cherry Chua" engraved on it.

However, the story doesn't end there. According to the students of that school, those who dared to sit on that bench will be possessed by Mary Cherry Chua. She will be made to feel how Mary Cherry felt during her last minutes in the world. Some of those who happens to pass that stone bench during dusk sometimes sees a figure of a young girl, crying nearby, perhaps crying because her bright future was taken away from her.

-Sheldon

Unbearable

"...I can't afford to lose you, I want you back..."

We had a fight about me giving you three roses. You assumed that I was giving you those because I’ve done something wrong but my intentions were only to make your day perfect.

The night before I gave you those roses, I was with my friends having a good time at a bar. We met 5 girls and got along just well. We asked them if they would like to get out and have some fun somewhere and we ended up at Nico's place. Booze was everywhere, we had fun and everything went well. You never went out of my head and I kept sending messages of how fun the night is going. I wished that you could be with me tonight. You are only about 80 kilometers away from me, so it is nearly impossible for you to be immediately be with me tonight and besides, I'm pretty sure you are already sound asleep.

I came up with an idea to just drive to your place and drop a rose before you wake up. I was excited to see how you would react once you see them right at your bed. I think your cousin saw me, I just told her not to make any noise. I have no idea how did I make it despite of all the alcohol in my system then.

I left your place and a couple of minutes later, a text message from you grazed my phone saying "what did you do this time?" I was surprised on how you reacted. I have not done anything wrong but you did not buy it. You were convinced that I did something wrong overnight and having a couple of girls at Nico's place has something to do with it. You didn’t want to talk about it and stopped replying on my messages and I was dead drunk and fell asleep.

I woke up with a message of you breaking up with me. “I’m sorry, this has been bothering me for a long time and did not know how or when to tell you, but I guess there is no better way of telling it but to start with the key variables. I think I don’t love you anymore. I don't think I can reciprocate what you feel about me. I know this is harsh, but I don't think I can make it." In denial of what I have read I asked you to send it again and pretended that I’ve accidentally deleted it. I even asked you if you are really sure about it. You said yes and you do not know when you started feeling this way.

I was numb and didn't know how to react. I may be in denial or just can't absorb what I have read.  I know that you do not mean it and this is another way of you saying "stay away from me". So I left you alone and later the next day you sent me another message. “I know that I have told you that I do not love you anymore, but you are confused and its driving you nuts thinking about it over and over again, so for now, I just want you back.”

I got to your place and we talked about it and you just said. “It’s just unfair that it is unbearable just thinking of living without you". I didn't know how to react to those words, but I was always astonished on how you display your feelings for me. Not all the time you say or do it, but when it happens it gives me the chills. 

-Howard

Being Content

I work near Makati’s so called Red Light District. Whenever I go to lunch or grab something to eat, I see a lot of girls standing along the street and patiently wait for their would be customers.

Now, an officemate asked me why would those women resort to prostitution when they can look for a much “better” job?

By better jobs, you mean desk jobs?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Basta hindi ganyang nagbebenta sila ng laman."

I didn’t answer her directly but instead I told her a simple story:

There was a rich industrialist who was disturbed to find a fisherman sitting lazily beside his boat. "Why aren't you out there fishing?" he asked.

"Because I've caught enough fish for today," said the fisherman. 

"Why don't you catch more fish than you need?' the rich man asked. 

"What would I do with them?"

"You could earn more money," came the impatient reply, "and buy a better boat so you could go deeper and catch more fish. You could purchase nylon nets, catch even more fish, and make more money. Soon you'd have a fleet of boats and be rich like me."

The fisherman asked, "Then what would I do?" 

"You could sit down and enjoy life," said the industrialist. 

"What do you think I'm doing now?" the fisherman replied as he looked placidly out to sea.

“Ano kinalaman nung kwento mo?”

I told her this;

Life is not about what you do in life. If prostitution makes her happy, so be it. If that’s the kind of job that makes her provide for her family, so be it. She is doing her job because it is her choice. She can always be anything what she wants to be and whatever that is, we are in no position to judge her. 

-Sheldon

The risks we have to take

We make sacrifices for whatever or whoever. A strong force that makes you do things that you never realize you can do. You never realize it until you are already in the spider's web, unable to move out and just waiting for whatever the hell would happen.  

I am an attorney, married to a doctor and has two kids. We run a fishing business at the port that is being managed by our children Mathew and Mark.  The town respects us for what we do and most or the people admires how my husband helps out the people with their medical needs.

It all started at a windy morning when  I was at a bookstore looking for a book that my son needed. There I met Ramon. He helped me look for the book. He was like a librarian and knew all corners of the bookstore and a certified bookworm. It saved me time and had all the books I needed for Mathew.

Ramon is also an attorney and he was new in town. I was surprised that we are working at the same law firm. He just moved in with his family. His office was right in front of mine so it was easy to accept lunch invites and coffee breaks and all of those times we shared stories and its like going back to childhood days that we laugh all day long and never thought that there is another group of people at the other table annoyed at how loud we are. He was funny and easy to get along with. We became office buddies and partners in crime.

One Saturday I realized that the book Mathew needed is in my office so I dropped by and Ramon was there. He was there watching a movie and spaced out. He just realized that I was already standing right beside him asking him what's he doing in the office on a Saturday? He told me that he was just working on a case and he just decided to play a movie to loosen up a little bit. He has been working on this case for so long he needed something to relax his head off. I decided to sit down and see the movie with him until we held hands! I never realized it until he was holding it so tight I cannot let go. I did not feel anything but my heart beating nervously. I do not know how or what to feel, but somehow the feeling was right. I leaned towards him and put my head on his chest. We cuddled and found ourselves kissing and it happened.

I never realized I could do that to my family. I never realized that I am capable of doing this. I have my perfect life then Ramon came into the picture. We have this secret for years and could not understand myself why am I staying in his arms? I have everything that I need and all that i cared for but Ramon is an entirely different story. He can do things unimaginable and brings me to a different side of my life that I have never discovered and I would still like to discover these things with him. I never thought i could love a man more than the things that I have dreamed of and  more than what I have and if it's not what or how i feel for him, what drives me to do these things just to be with him. Despite all the risk.

-Howard

'Free

I recently received mp3 copies of Sugarfree’s concert – the “Sugarfree Live! with the Manila Symphony Orchestra.” Sugarfree was composed of Ebe Dancel on guitar and vocals, Jal Taguibao on bass guitar, and Kaka Quisimbing on drums. For hardcore fans, they were best remembered for “Mariposa,” “Burnout,” “Huling Gabi,” and “Ikaw Pala” but for occasional listeners, they’re best remembered for belting out “Prom,” “Makita Kang Muli,” “Wag Ka Nang Umiyak,” and the national anthem of my life, “Hari Ng Sablay.”

90’s kids had Eraserheads, Rivermaya and Parokya Ni Edgar. New millennia lads had Bamboo but for me it was Sugarfree. When I picked up a guitar and tried my best to play songs I love, and doing all that I could to perform in front of people, they were my inspirations. Not-so-good-looking bunch of musicians, with a not-so-fine voice quality, but are able to rock the crowd even if there are just 3 of them.

Ebe, with his poetic lyrics and combination of simple and eccentric guitar chord patterns, Jal with his jaw-dropping bass lines patterned with Mitch’s and Kaka’s groovy beat, Sugarfree songs makes you sing their song, copy how they do it, and brag with your music enthusiast friends.

But sadly, as they say, every good thing never really lasts. Sugarfree had disbanded a couple of years ago. It’s sad, so sad for someone who aspired to be a musician, for a fan, for a musician-wannabe, for someone who grew up listening to their songs, seeing them breaking up was so hard. It was like breaking up with your girlfriend ng paulit, ulit.

Yes, I haven't moved on. I still listen to their songs. I still play them in my guitar. I still request them in bars. I still perform their songs when I can. I was rebellious I never even tried to listen to Ebe’s new songs. I want them as they were.

I wished I could see them play – together – again. Kung kelan kaya ko nang bumili ng tickets ng gigs nila, kung kelan kaya ko na bumili ng albums nila, saka pa sila nawala.

I want to let go of them, like all the pains, the frustrations, the fears, the guilt, that I am feeling. I want to move on. I hope I could. I hope I could listen to another song. I hope I could find a way to burst these out and be able to say goodbye. Be able to tell myself, “wala ng Sugarfree…’gang kinig ka na lang, gang d’yan na lang yan” much like my desire to tell myself, “it’s over dude, you’ve done your part. One way or the other, you’ll get hurt or cause pain. Get up, apologize, man up, and let go.”

Lord, kindly please, can you please cancel the Sugar, so that I could now just be - Free.

-Raj

Vagabond Version 2.0

Cigarettes:        Php70.00

Beer or Liquor: Php180.00

Chips:               Php50.00

Noodles:           Php30.00 (for the after inuman chillout)

Now that is just a simple list of what I spend whenever me and my best buds hang out. Well, of course they would need to chip in to buy additional drinks or cigarette or ice so let's just say that I should have at least Php200.00 in my wallet to spend for my vices. Now that amount will account for nothing if I were to go out and drink let's say in a bar or a pub. I would need at the very least, around Php500.00 and that's only if I'm with my friends and everyone will chip in to pay the bill. Another Php500.00 if I was able to pick up a hot chick at a bar and bring her to a cheap motel. Now, that's just me. I don't know what your vices are, but I'm pretty sure you still need money in order for you to do them, or enjoy them.

So does that mean if you don't have money then you have no right to enjoy your young life? No, of course not! You can still have fun even though you don't have that much money. But of course, beggars can't be choosers. If you don't have money to spend for your vices, then look for a cheaper alternative. 

Or better yet, get a job!

Now here's what grinds my gears.

What's so hard about getting a job? Why do I see guys, bumming around, slacking off, jobless for years, bane of the society and still, have the guts to drink, smoke, score chicks, gamble?

And complain that their life sucks.

If you are in your 20s and you got yourself a girl, and you got vices, and you're jobless for more than a year, then you should just kill yourself. Being part of the male species, we should take pride in our capabilities, our strength, our birth right to being the dominant species, the alpha. And what these fuckers are doing is destroying what we, the good followers of Barney Stinson, help build. Don't get me wrong though, being a bum for a month is okay, maybe even two, but you should have a valid reason as to why it took so long for you to get a job. This is not just a responsibility, it is a MORAL RESPONSIBILITY. 

From the words of the Stiffmeister of the American Pie franchise: Live life, get paid and get laid.

-Leonard

The Dona Juana Rodriguez Street Project

There was an article in one of the famous Horror Books in the Philippines that I wanted to investigate. I’m sure most of our local readers have read the story but for the benefit of those who haven’t, here’s how it goes, copied and pasted from the pages of True Philippine Ghost Stories.

http://philurbanlegends.blogspot.com/2013/02/dona-juana-rodriguez-street-haunted.html

Now, as a Paranormal Researcher, all that’s left for me to do is to re-trace the steps the anonymous writer has left us and where do we start? The place of the incident of course.

My wife’s family lives in San Juan so to avoid the traffic of Araneta Avenue, you have to drive along the quiet side streets of New Manila and driving along that area always gives me the creeps.

Dona Juana Rodriguez is just three corners away west bound from Balete Drive – another famous street by reputation and Dona Juana is no different. With its row of Old Houses enclosed in high walls and trees meeting each other on the roads, who wouldn’t be scared?

I tried looking for the house that matches the description of the story but to no avail. I even asked street sweepers and nearby Barangay Officers if they knew of a place that seems eerie but they all denied that there was one.

So what’s next in my agenda is to go to the National Library and look for the Newspaper Archives that is described in the story but what surprised me is that the archives never contained the article published in the 70’s paper. I asked one of the resident staff and they told me that they had no idea what happened.

Scared?

-Sheldon

Inherited Discipline

I know that all of us experienced the nagging and beating from our guardians; brutal experience that we are all going to remember as we grow up and there is no doubt that these are lessons that we are all going to pass on to our children. Not all of them are good, so we filter the ones that we want and remove the things that we wouldn’t want to pass on to them. But did our guardians filter the lessons they gave us?

Did they think that the lessons, teachings, beatings and nagging they gave us will work? Whatever the case is, it worked did it? Or as the forerunners of the next generation, we have something better in store for our children? As times goes by, everything definitely improves and has their share on change but let us also focus on what we have today.

Our adults today were equipped with their own set of knowledge that they have acquired from the day they set foot on this earth which as they say the catch phrase "been there, done that" and that their experience is unparalleled. This attitude alone gives them the right to brag, nag and lecture you until all hell turns into mayhem. This is what we have created today. As I have read on "Mama's Boy Presidents” by Stanford Erickson", Since John F. Kennedy, seven of the last nine presidents of the United States have been Mama’s Boys. Gerald Ford and George H.W. Bush can be characterized as Daddy’s Boys. Lyndon B. Johnson, Jimmy Carter, Richard M. Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, all experienced a unique relationship with their mother that some psychologists refer to as Mama’s Boys. During times of crisis, many of our greatest presidents have been balanced Mama’s Boys and balanced Daddy’s Boys. Does it end here? I guess not. If we list down successful people that has good relationship with their parents, it may take more than 500 words, more than needed to finish this article. Some of these people may have been there by chance that they have good relationship with their parents, but not actually the big factor of their success.


Not all they say is right! Not all their practice is the best and they do not always set the best example. There are a number of times that despite how and what they tell us, at the back of our heads we know something better and we end up not following what we were told. It is not that they are wrong; we just know something’s better than experience or rather not everything can be covered by experience. We are living in the information age and anyone who knows how to use a computer can get the information that he or she needs in only a few keystrokes. Some people are really intelligent. They can look at a situation, come up with original creative solutions to problems, and cope with new and unexpected challenges. Does everyone agree that arranged marriages work? Or by getting a woman accidentally pregnant, your parents automatically obligate you to be married. Parents that believes in the traditional healing practices is similar to relying in Quackery or the promotion of unproven or fraudulent medical practices. Random House Dictionary describes a "quack" as a "fraudulent or ignorant pretender to medical skill" or "a person who pretends, professionally or publicly, to have skill, knowledge, or qualifications he or she does not possess; a charlatan". Let us accept the fact that even at this time we have our elders who still believes in this process regardless of their stature in life. Why? Because it worked for them once not knowing the potential danger they face and the alarming number of victims that are still increasing.


“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”― Mark Twain

-Howard

Battlecry

from hippie to awesome

 Rejoice! for you have been blessed to get to know the core teachings of the “Way of the D.I.M.P. How to get the woman of your dreams, simultaneously”

Now, I know some of you are still reluctant and still has this some kind of a mousy-thing going on inside of you. Don’t fret, let me lead the way. A lot of us got rejected in the past simply because of the fact that we didn’t even try getting what is supposed to be ours. You read it right, it starts within us. We must own what should be ours first in the first place. Own it, even if it’s just an idea yet. You see, not all of us are blessed with the looks, the stash and the brains. Isn’t it all there is to score chicks? Nah, you don’t need those. It’s definitely a plus, but not a requirement.

How come it’s not?

If it’s about the looks, then tell me why Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson?

If it’s about the money, then Mark Zuckerberg (I guess we all know who he is) Donald Trump, and all the billionaires in the world should have all the ladies there is. Definitely they have got money, but how come there’s only one chick in their household? You need proof? Google Bill Gates.

If it’s about the brain, I haven’t got any info that brainiacs like Einstein, Newton and the likes has a bombshell with them. I can only think of one smart-ass ladies-man, and that’s our very own Jose Rizal.

You see, these factors are clichés so to speak. The most important thing that you have to do is to believe in yourself.

Simply said, Confidence.

Instead of sulking at the corner and tell yourself that you’re not good enough, that there’s a better man than you, it’s not going to help so why not look at a different angle?

You’ll never know what’s going to happen. You’ll never know if what you’re going to do is not right. You’ll never know that it could have been you. So have some balls and man up. Show her what you got. Show her you’re the man. Ask for her name, compliment her, and with some luck, you’d be able to date her out the next week.

Dress enough, feel good, know what you are talking about, make her laugh, bring some manners when you’re with her, and that’s it. If she can’t see the greatness in you during your simplest time, she only deserves the tiniest attention you could provide when you’re on top. Hindi lang naman babae and dine-desire, dapat alam mong ikaw din.

In the words of the great Popoy Gonzales: She loved me at my worst, you had me at my best.

Never underestimate the power vested in you as a man. Own the idea, make a move and expect for the worst. Be real and see where you get from there.

If all else fails, you should not.

I have a hot girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I look good. Like I always say,

“Hindi ako gwapo, Masarap ako.”

-Raj

The Perfect Gentleman

What qualities does every girl want in her man?

The perfect gentleman of course, but is there such a person?

I mean, no two  girls would want the same thing! Girl "A" may want someone who knows how to cook, dress up, suit up well and a clean cut hair cut, is fit and a bit muscular, speaks well, smart and an animal in bed. Girl "B" may want the same things except for the "dress up" part, and she may want it scruffy looking and a bit round and huggable. Girls’ definition of a perfect guy may be similar in so many ways, but let me assure you, there will always be a clincher somewhere in  the middle.

So what Leonard? That doesn't do anything for me!

Au Contraire my friend. Actually, it does something for the whole MALE-kind. For you, you pitiful 20 year old virgin whose right hand named Emma Watson and left hand named Emma Stone, let them rest now buddy, you know who you are!

So what do we get from all of this? An opportunity. An opportunity to hook up, to have sex. Heck, to get a girlfriend! That's all we guys need, an opportunity. Now, if you remember my examples; Girl "A" and "B". Let's say that you have all the things they want, except for the "fit body and clean cut look". But do you see the opportunity here? You already got Girl "B" in the bag, and you should secure that as well. Now after that, do a little improvement with your body, exercise a bit, play basketball, have some SEXercise with Girl "B", let out some sweat. And in a few days or weeks, you got thinner, and you got a better chance with Girl "A". I'm not saying that you should change yourself to get the girl you like, or in that matter, to get or add one more girl in your portfolio. But I am promoting self improvement, confidence, dedication and passion.

Please don't misconstrue my intentions in writing this. I just want our male readers to take advantage of an opportunity IN A GOOD WAY, and for them to gain confidence. And for our male readers. Just remember, preferences are only there to set the standards, that doesn't mean you can't break the standards and set a new one yourself.

Be the perfect gentleman not because you have to, but only because you want to.

Sex is not the answer, it's the question. Yes is the answer, but make sure you're prepared for the follow up questions how and why.

How? By winning the girl you like through dedication and passion.

Why? Why not?

Sex is the greatest motivation

-Leonard