The risks we have to take

We make sacrifices for whatever or whoever. A strong force that makes you do things that you never realize you can do. You never realize it until you are already in the spider's web, unable to move out and just waiting for whatever the hell would happen.  

I am an attorney, married to a doctor and has two kids. We run a fishing business at the port that is being managed by our children Mathew and Mark.  The town respects us for what we do and most or the people admires how my husband helps out the people with their medical needs.

It all started at a windy morning when  I was at a bookstore looking for a book that my son needed. There I met Ramon. He helped me look for the book. He was like a librarian and knew all corners of the bookstore and a certified bookworm. It saved me time and had all the books I needed for Mathew.

Ramon is also an attorney and he was new in town. I was surprised that we are working at the same law firm. He just moved in with his family. His office was right in front of mine so it was easy to accept lunch invites and coffee breaks and all of those times we shared stories and its like going back to childhood days that we laugh all day long and never thought that there is another group of people at the other table annoyed at how loud we are. He was funny and easy to get along with. We became office buddies and partners in crime.

One Saturday I realized that the book Mathew needed is in my office so I dropped by and Ramon was there. He was there watching a movie and spaced out. He just realized that I was already standing right beside him asking him what's he doing in the office on a Saturday? He told me that he was just working on a case and he just decided to play a movie to loosen up a little bit. He has been working on this case for so long he needed something to relax his head off. I decided to sit down and see the movie with him until we held hands! I never realized it until he was holding it so tight I cannot let go. I did not feel anything but my heart beating nervously. I do not know how or what to feel, but somehow the feeling was right. I leaned towards him and put my head on his chest. We cuddled and found ourselves kissing and it happened.

I never realized I could do that to my family. I never realized that I am capable of doing this. I have my perfect life then Ramon came into the picture. We have this secret for years and could not understand myself why am I staying in his arms? I have everything that I need and all that i cared for but Ramon is an entirely different story. He can do things unimaginable and brings me to a different side of my life that I have never discovered and I would still like to discover these things with him. I never thought i could love a man more than the things that I have dreamed of and  more than what I have and if it's not what or how i feel for him, what drives me to do these things just to be with him. Despite all the risk.

-Howard