Effective Courtship

Courtship. 

What is our understanding when we hear the word? What is our brain’s interpretation when we see a guy doing it? What is the process? Is there a standard protocol and what is the most effective approach?

I will bet my life that I know the best. If not, then one of the best practices around! Absurd?! Then let's take a look around and observe things. Courtship is a stage where we get to know each other; different cultures and generations has a variety of how it is done but the end result is all the same. Either a new couple is soon to emerge from the process or the other way around. How do we increase the success rate? Are we just relying on chance, fate, luck or Idols? Are you confident enough that you are equipped for the task? 

In the Philippines, we have a rich culture of courtship that is sadly facing extinction. The guys does the so called "Harana" where he sings a love song right at the doorsteps of the girl that he wants to have a relationship with, writing letters and poems and some even recites that poem they made for the girl that they chose to live with forever. Filipino men have their own definition of a wingman: the bridge who serves as the communicator. A suitor is commonly discreet and shows only their best side. In other countries or societies, the parents or community propose to potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. 

The Americans date, wherein courtship will be done by performing activities to assess each other's compatibility.

What is the best? What weapon is best to achieve success and hit the target right on? We are proud that we have rich and deep culture of courtship, but we have to admit that it is no longer working and that everything evolves and change.

In the early stages of courtship, the thing that irritates me the most are men that pathetically asks girls the stupid question "pwede ba manligaw"? Can I be your suitor? If the Trojan horse had a sign that says "hey bastards, we are right inside this wooden horse!" I don't think the Greeks have won, you do not reveal your battle strategy. It is already given that you love her since you are already planning to court her, if you really want to lay down your card even before attacking, just tell her you love her instead of asking permission to court her, that would make more sense and more impact. Asking that question this early will give her an open opportunity to say NO and not giving you a chance to express how much you feel for her.

Your words are only as good as your actions, you can say everything under the sun but the best way to say it is to just do it. Have her run around going nuts, going crazy because she is overwhelmed with the sweetness and effort that you do for her. Do not tell her anything until you can see that you are already driving her nuts with everything that you are doing. Be patient and wait like how like any other hunter would be. The words you say regardless if it is true or not if it is backed up with all the efforts of the world will be true, you can even make yourself believe that you actually love her.

The friendship jutsu; many are using this discipline. For those who don’t have an idea that they’re already using this method, these are the ones who purely have feelings for each other. But for the people that understand my point this early, you be the judge. We start as good friends, someone that is always there and always takes care of you, knows everything about you, knows your family, recommended by your parents and friends, but you are limited and will always just be friends and then you find yourselves kissing. My point is, best friends of the opposite sex do not work. At the end of the day, they will be a couple or nothing. So why not use this courting approach? The critical point is how well you play the act that you accidentally fall in love with your best friend. Dirty? That depends if you only want to get laid or do you really have feelings for her?

In The Service of the Filipino Women

-Howard