Battlecry

from hippie to awesome

 Rejoice! for you have been blessed to get to know the core teachings of the “Way of the D.I.M.P. How to get the woman of your dreams, simultaneously”

Now, I know some of you are still reluctant and still has this some kind of a mousy-thing going on inside of you. Don’t fret, let me lead the way. A lot of us got rejected in the past simply because of the fact that we didn’t even try getting what is supposed to be ours. You read it right, it starts within us. We must own what should be ours first in the first place. Own it, even if it’s just an idea yet. You see, not all of us are blessed with the looks, the stash and the brains. Isn’t it all there is to score chicks? Nah, you don’t need those. It’s definitely a plus, but not a requirement.

How come it’s not?

If it’s about the looks, then tell me why Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson?

If it’s about the money, then Mark Zuckerberg (I guess we all know who he is) Donald Trump, and all the billionaires in the world should have all the ladies there is. Definitely they have got money, but how come there’s only one chick in their household? You need proof? Google Bill Gates.

If it’s about the brain, I haven’t got any info that brainiacs like Einstein, Newton and the likes has a bombshell with them. I can only think of one smart-ass ladies-man, and that’s our very own Jose Rizal.

You see, these factors are clichés so to speak. The most important thing that you have to do is to believe in yourself.

Simply said, Confidence.

Instead of sulking at the corner and tell yourself that you’re not good enough, that there’s a better man than you, it’s not going to help so why not look at a different angle?

You’ll never know what’s going to happen. You’ll never know if what you’re going to do is not right. You’ll never know that it could have been you. So have some balls and man up. Show her what you got. Show her you’re the man. Ask for her name, compliment her, and with some luck, you’d be able to date her out the next week.

Dress enough, feel good, know what you are talking about, make her laugh, bring some manners when you’re with her, and that’s it. If she can’t see the greatness in you during your simplest time, she only deserves the tiniest attention you could provide when you’re on top. Hindi lang naman babae and dine-desire, dapat alam mong ikaw din.

In the words of the great Popoy Gonzales: She loved me at my worst, you had me at my best.

Never underestimate the power vested in you as a man. Own the idea, make a move and expect for the worst. Be real and see where you get from there.

If all else fails, you should not.

I have a hot girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I look good. Like I always say,

“Hindi ako gwapo, Masarap ako.”

-Raj

The Perfect Gentleman

What qualities does every girl want in her man?

The perfect gentleman of course, but is there such a person?

I mean, no two  girls would want the same thing! Girl "A" may want someone who knows how to cook, dress up, suit up well and a clean cut hair cut, is fit and a bit muscular, speaks well, smart and an animal in bed. Girl "B" may want the same things except for the "dress up" part, and she may want it scruffy looking and a bit round and huggable. Girls’ definition of a perfect guy may be similar in so many ways, but let me assure you, there will always be a clincher somewhere in  the middle.

So what Leonard? That doesn't do anything for me!

Au Contraire my friend. Actually, it does something for the whole MALE-kind. For you, you pitiful 20 year old virgin whose right hand named Emma Watson and left hand named Emma Stone, let them rest now buddy, you know who you are!

So what do we get from all of this? An opportunity. An opportunity to hook up, to have sex. Heck, to get a girlfriend! That's all we guys need, an opportunity. Now, if you remember my examples; Girl "A" and "B". Let's say that you have all the things they want, except for the "fit body and clean cut look". But do you see the opportunity here? You already got Girl "B" in the bag, and you should secure that as well. Now after that, do a little improvement with your body, exercise a bit, play basketball, have some SEXercise with Girl "B", let out some sweat. And in a few days or weeks, you got thinner, and you got a better chance with Girl "A". I'm not saying that you should change yourself to get the girl you like, or in that matter, to get or add one more girl in your portfolio. But I am promoting self improvement, confidence, dedication and passion.

Please don't misconstrue my intentions in writing this. I just want our male readers to take advantage of an opportunity IN A GOOD WAY, and for them to gain confidence. And for our male readers. Just remember, preferences are only there to set the standards, that doesn't mean you can't break the standards and set a new one yourself.

Be the perfect gentleman not because you have to, but only because you want to.

Sex is not the answer, it's the question. Yes is the answer, but make sure you're prepared for the follow up questions how and why.

How? By winning the girl you like through dedication and passion.

Why? Why not?

Sex is the greatest motivation

-Leonard

Dark Arts 101

A friend of mine texted me the other day and he’s asking for some advice. Now, this friend did not ask help for money, family, what to buy or work issues. He is asking for help on how to get another girl.

Now for a little history. This guy is a very loyal boyfriend and has a very promising career. He is a Software Engineer in one of the biggest banks in the country. I helped him get a girlfriend which turned out to be another college friend of ours too and they’re doing pretty good in the past seven years of their relationship. Fast forward to the present and we have his predicament. He wanted to taste another “ulam” because he is getting sick of eating the same dish.

Okay, this isn’t the question I’m expecting from him but still I managed to give him answers.

And for the benefit of other readers, here are a few tips I gave him for starters.

Rule no 1. Social Media

• Facebook, instagram, twitter and other social sites are double edged swords if not used properly. Do not share passwords with your better half if you don’t want to be asked questions you don’t want to answer.
• Privacy settings – they are there for a reason. Use it. Adjust your privacy settings to let people see information that you would like to let them see.
• Incognito – use this mode when using someone else's PC. Come on, it doesn't leave bread crumbs.

Rule no 2. Wingman

• A wingman is someone who backs you up in times of your immediate need. He is the “IT” person if you want to go somewhere you don’t want to be tracked.

Rule no 3. Extra Phone

• Get a cheap phone and Use it for your extracurricular activities. But be warned: handling an extra phone needs some skill; I had this friend that once had an extra phone. He hid it inside the ceiling of their bathroom when someone texted him. The wife entered the bathroom and heard intermittent beeping sounds. What are the takeaways from this event? Never hide your phone in a very quiet place or rather keep the SIM card, Battery and phone in three different locations.
• The phone you will get will belong to no one. If anybody accidentally finds your phone, you will only have one answer: It’s not yours. You will also need your friends to know the same.
• You might want to take advantage of your extra phone’s features such as scheduled texting etc. it might come in handy.

Now don’t you get the wrong message here. I am not promoting infidelity. I asked my friend’s intentions on why he has to do this and for me, his reasons are valid. We are the kind of people who doesn’t judge the person because of things that he would or would not do but rather understand the person on why he has to do such things. He is single and eventually marry so why not take advantage of his bachelorhood and mess around now rather than when he is tied up with someone? I always tell my wife that I did a lot of crazy stuff when I was single or when I was with my past girlfriends but so what? I am married now and the most important thing is that I stay true to my wedding vows no matter what.

So for all those single guys out there, enjoy and have fun! Feel free to message us here and we’ll be more than happy to give you advanced tips.

You read it right. There are more. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us. Like I’ve said,

“We don’t judge, We understand”.

-Sheldon

Effective Courtship

Courtship. 

What is our understanding when we hear the word? What is our brain’s interpretation when we see a guy doing it? What is the process? Is there a standard protocol and what is the most effective approach?

I will bet my life that I know the best. If not, then one of the best practices around! Absurd?! Then let's take a look around and observe things. Courtship is a stage where we get to know each other; different cultures and generations has a variety of how it is done but the end result is all the same. Either a new couple is soon to emerge from the process or the other way around. How do we increase the success rate? Are we just relying on chance, fate, luck or Idols? Are you confident enough that you are equipped for the task? 

In the Philippines, we have a rich culture of courtship that is sadly facing extinction. The guys does the so called "Harana" where he sings a love song right at the doorsteps of the girl that he wants to have a relationship with, writing letters and poems and some even recites that poem they made for the girl that they chose to live with forever. Filipino men have their own definition of a wingman: the bridge who serves as the communicator. A suitor is commonly discreet and shows only their best side. In other countries or societies, the parents or community propose to potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. 

The Americans date, wherein courtship will be done by performing activities to assess each other's compatibility.

What is the best? What weapon is best to achieve success and hit the target right on? We are proud that we have rich and deep culture of courtship, but we have to admit that it is no longer working and that everything evolves and change.

In the early stages of courtship, the thing that irritates me the most are men that pathetically asks girls the stupid question "pwede ba manligaw"? Can I be your suitor? If the Trojan horse had a sign that says "hey bastards, we are right inside this wooden horse!" I don't think the Greeks have won, you do not reveal your battle strategy. It is already given that you love her since you are already planning to court her, if you really want to lay down your card even before attacking, just tell her you love her instead of asking permission to court her, that would make more sense and more impact. Asking that question this early will give her an open opportunity to say NO and not giving you a chance to express how much you feel for her.

Your words are only as good as your actions, you can say everything under the sun but the best way to say it is to just do it. Have her run around going nuts, going crazy because she is overwhelmed with the sweetness and effort that you do for her. Do not tell her anything until you can see that you are already driving her nuts with everything that you are doing. Be patient and wait like how like any other hunter would be. The words you say regardless if it is true or not if it is backed up with all the efforts of the world will be true, you can even make yourself believe that you actually love her.

The friendship jutsu; many are using this discipline. For those who don’t have an idea that they’re already using this method, these are the ones who purely have feelings for each other. But for the people that understand my point this early, you be the judge. We start as good friends, someone that is always there and always takes care of you, knows everything about you, knows your family, recommended by your parents and friends, but you are limited and will always just be friends and then you find yourselves kissing. My point is, best friends of the opposite sex do not work. At the end of the day, they will be a couple or nothing. So why not use this courting approach? The critical point is how well you play the act that you accidentally fall in love with your best friend. Dirty? That depends if you only want to get laid or do you really have feelings for her?

In The Service of the Filipino Women

-Howard

So Gay

You see a man holding an umbrella… so gay.

You see a man with a pink bag…so gay.

You see a man with a Lady Gaga ringtone… so gay.

Those are soooo gay.

This had been a cliché’, but on the hindsight, it really is true without a doubt. Hindi naman nanganganak, pero dumadami. Nakaka- kingina this.

Gays are multiplying in a rapid pace. Before, you’ll see gay in every 10 minutes. Today, you’ll see them every 10 seconds. Sometimes, I tell myself that this gayness is contagious. It made me ask myself if I’m gay if I see a man in an astig situation like driving a Ford Mustang in Makati Avenue, or a man riding a Ducati in C-5 because for me, appreciating same sex is just sooooo gay.

I don’t know if I’m against them, or with them. They’re everywhere, so I guess the society had really embraced the fact that gays are here. They’re on TV. They’re on the movies. They’re at 7-11. One of them is sitting beside me, pouting, and telling me not to publish this. See? They’re everywhere. Take a look around.

One thing I don’t agree with them is the fact that they sometimes act like they’re more ladylike than the species they’re trying to emulate. You see them in skimpy clothes. You see them in a grandiose make-up. To be honest, I only see real women in those categories when A: I’m on a bar and B: I’m on the other bar. Its like, do you see everyday girls on that type of clothing? Flirting with one another on broad daylight? Looking at real men with lusty eyes and drooling mouth? You don’t do that, please.

I also don’t like the fact that gay issue is very sensitive. It’s like the society cannot just lash at them. They became untouchables. It’s like, if you say something, you’d be the target of an all-gay wrath. Why, can’t I say that most gays I know are malandi because I would sound sexist? It’s my opinion, what do you care? How about if I say, most girls I know are malandi, would you care? I think gay related topics and issues became overrated. I can only say one thing; you are trying to be a part of an established society. You blend in; you should not make us bow down to you just because you are having the time of your life.

Remember the Ms Universe issue? Yeah, gays said that the candidate banned must be re-instated for the fact that “she” now looks like a woman, with a physique like every contestants. Unless, you can show me that you can bear human being in your tummy, you can’t join a pageant intended and created for women who can give birth.

Be satisfied by the ongoing norm that you are now accepted by the society. There will be discriminations, you have to accept that. Even males experience discrimination, anong akala niyo, kayo lang? You don’t have to be seen, or heard, or impose your will in every aspect of each and everyone’s lives. We know you’re there. That should be enough.

Because reacting on every gay issue, accusing us of being sexist, making us feel uncomfortable, being everywhere, flaunting your sexual orientation and preference- even if it’s uncalled for – is just soooo gay.

-Raj

A Sore Thumb

Equality has always been an issue. The gender wars! Who's superior, which is the better sex, Mars vs. Venus, top or bottom, etcetera.

But let's mix it up a little bit more.

Insert; The Gay ones! ( And to be specific, Gay Men.)

The strength of Men, the charms (what?!) of Women. The best of both worlds? Or the worse from both ends? Who are they? Why are they here? Why would a person be Gay?  A choice or a force of nature? Can one just choose to be gay? Does everybody have that capability or capacity to be gay? And does it come w/ an On or Off switch? Why are they so obnoxious? If a guy is that obnoxious; he's an asshole, if a girl's that obnoxious;  she's a bitch, but if you're an obnoxious Gay? What then?

The answer is; Normal Gay!

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not Homophobic and I'm not anti-gay. I actually have Gay friends, one of my best friends' Gay. But what I'm against are those obnoxious, over confident, attention seeking FAGS (yes, I said it!) that just has to be "in your face!", and let everyone know that they're Gay and they're proud of it. Why does it have to be like that? I can see that you're Gay, there's no question about it, and why do you wear clothings exclusive for girls? Like what my colleague said; "Ang pekpek shorts, para sa may mga pekpek!", I can accept it if you're wearing a tank top for girls, dress, even bras! But wearing something like that? C'mon, 6'2 tall, dark skinned, heavy build, deep voice, and you're wearing super short-shorts?! 

Doesn't it bother you that you have balls and that it could pop out anytime while your wearing short-shorts?

Maybe I'm asking the wrong questions here, maybe I'm just being judgmental or absurd, but my point is, why do you have to wear something like that and why BE LIKE THAT?! And please spare me the reason "I was born this way.". No you weren't! You may have been born Gay, and there really is no way to know if the baby in Mommy's belly is gay or not. And regardless, you're still human, and as Science proved, many times now, no two people are the same. So why the fuck are ya'll following a trend? You cannot use the excuse that your obnoxious and loud and an "In your face" type of person because you are Gay and that 

Gays are born that way.

Is this some sort of defense mechanism? I  think it is...

I guess they are being loud and obnoxious because of low self-esteem...

And if that REALLY is the case, then why still do it? Why put yourself on top of a pedestal where you can easily become a target? Why become the nail that sticks out?

I guess the answer to my questions can only be given by a Gay guy, any thoughts here buddy?

Hold your comments before you call me judgemental:

I only hate the flamboyant (In all the wrong means...) ones.

To the general gay community,

I actually think people who are gay has an advantage in life. Being able to see things from their perspective should be better than just looking at it from one gender perspective.

But only if you know how to play your cards right...

And if you respect yourself enough to know that what you do and how you appear in public may directly affect how the public treats you. If you dress and act like a bitch, I will treat you as one.

-Leonard

Transgenders

We are aware that the Organizers of the Miss Universe Pageant has changed its rules and has allowed “Transgenders” to join the competition. According to Yahoo! news: Billionaire Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe franchise, reinstated Jenna Talackova after she showed documents that identify her as a woman.

“We have a long history of supporting equality for all women, and this was something we took very seriously,” said Paula Shugart, president of the Miss Universe Organization. “Women”, that’s the term Paula Shugart used to emphasize their “long history of supporting equality”. I don’t think it’s for those who chose to have their phalluses removed.

Miss Universe is the most coveted title every woman has ever dreamed of. But first, let’s see how Wikipedia defines women: A woman (/ˈwʊmən/), pl: women (/ˈwɪmɨn/) is a female human. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult, with the term girl being the usual term for a female child or adolescent. However, the term woman is also sometimes used to identify a female human, regardless of age, as in phrases such as “Women’s rights”. Unlike men, women are typically capable of giving birth.

Okay, by definition it says “a female human” and that “women” are “typically capable of giving birth”.

Now, why are the organizers of this pageant changed its rules and has allowed “Transgenders” to participate in a competition dedicated for Women? Does snipping your genitals make you a woman?

Being gay or lesbian is okay, but adding another term to “further classify” your preferred gender? That’s pushing it. I mean, what’s the difference between a Transgender and a Gay/Lesbian? Isn’t the term “a girl born in a man’s body” or “a boy born in a girl’s body” means someone’s gay or lesbian? Why use a different term? Isn’t the term “Transgender” discriminates the Gay and Lesbian community?

If I were a woman, I would feel offended by this rule. It’s like crossing your boundaries; it’s like a guy entering a girl’s bathroom in a Mall, it’s like taking away prize money that is meant to be for someone else. If they were to allow “Transgenders” to participate in a competition as prestigious as the Miss Universe, why not make one for them?

This is not an issue of Discrimination or Equality. If we’re going to allow this, we might as well have a female basketball team with “Transgenders” in it. Let’s say if Kobe Bryant would later decide to change his “gender” because it can be done legally anyway like Jenna did, then let’s have him play in the WNBA because it wouldn’t be “fair” for him if we’re not going to allow him to, right?

Let’s try not to forget that biologically, there are only Male and Female. If you think you’re a person born in the wrong body, then that means you’re gay or lesbian. Having your genitals changed doesn’t make you the opposite sex nor gives you the right to be one of them.

Sigh.

Just Sayin’

-Sheldon