Cats in the Cradle

When you coming home? 

Son, I don't know when. We'll get together then. 
You know well have a good time then

Well, my son turned ten just the other day. 
He said, thanks for the ball, dad. come on, lets play. 
Could you teach me to throw?

I said, not today. I got a lot to do. 
He said, that's okay. and he walked away and he smiled and he said, 
You know, I'm gonna be like him, yeah. 
You know I'm gonna be like him

I am a proud, young father of two (legally that is). My eldest is turning six and I have a newborn son. I am an early bloomer, nuff said. Sadly, they came from different mothers and no, I'm not being hypocritical for saying that this situation is sad, because it really is, but I'm psyched that my kids will have someone I NEVER had: A rival, a best friend, a team mate, a "bro", a brother. Biologically they are step brothers but that’s not a big issue for me (and I know it's going to be an issue for their mothers) but let me tackle that with you on my next post. For now, let me share some thoughts regarding my relationship with my eldest son.

I'm very proud of my first born. He's a smaller version of me and might I say, an exact replica! When he was born, I was a very busy man. We lived 15-30 minutes away from where I work and yet ironically, I spent most of my time in the office and spending my free time at home only to eat, and sleep. Of course I had my days off from work but my ex didn't accept that as an excuse for me having little to no time for them so the inevitable happened. She left me bringing our kid along with her. Now, at this point, any responsible father would've asked his partner not to leave him but at that time, I wasn't the responsible father that that situation demands. Instead, I enjoyed my freedom. Don't get me wrong, I still give her money for our son and visit him every week or every two weeks.  I've seen him go to school, I've seen him walk the stage and accept his kindergarten diploma. I've seen him perform in a school program. But do you think that's enough? At that time, I did. Now my kid has grown up and about to go to his 1st grade in elementary school, and I feel that he's already adapted to the situation that we can only see each other every other week, and only when it's " payday"

Just recently, me and my son had this conversation.

Son: Daddy, ano work mo?

Me: I’m an Account Manager.

Son: Ano yun? Ano ginagawa mo sa work mo Daddy?

Me: Ibig sabihin, ako ang nag-aasikaso sa mga customer namin na kailangan ng support galing sa office ni Daddy.

Son: Mahirap po ba yun?

Me: Not really, all I have to do is to give them the help they need. Kailangan lang nila ng mag-aasikaso sa kanila.

Son: Ah, Okay. Sige gusto ko din maging kagaya ni Daddy yung work ko!

Me: (Laughing, yet very proud of myself) Pero kailangan magaling ka mag-english! Kailangan, kahit may work ka na, mag-aral ka padin! Para lalo kang gumaling!

Son: Work atsaka Aral ng sabay?! Andami naman gagawin!

Me: Ganun talaga, kaya busy talaga si Daddy.

Son: Daddy, kaya ba di mo nako lagi pinupuntahan 'tsaka hinahatid sa school?

Me: Anak, Daddy's working kasi eh. I'm working para makapag-school ka, and para may pambili tayo ng toys na gusto mo. And para pag pumunta tayong Jollibee, meron tayong pambili ng Chickenjoy!

At this point, a memory played in my head. A flashback of the same situation with the same topic. But this time, It's between me and my Dad.

My son, staring blankly at his psp calmly said:

Son: Eh di pag hindi nalang ako mag aral sa school, and hindi nalang ako magpabili ng toys, at hindi na din ako magpabili ng Chickenjoy, lagi mo akong pupuntahan and ihahatid mo ako sa school lagi?"

I was speechless. I was caught off guard by a 5 year old boy.

All my "smart" mind can get me to do was to hug my son real tight, tickle him and kiss him till he was laughing his socks off. That was my only response. I changed the topic to his favorite TV show Ben10, because if we continued on with the topic of our conversation, I would've cried in front of him. I would've let myself go, and cried my ass off while asking for his forgiveness for my mishaps. I felt so weak at that time but I can't let him see that.

I can't let him see me in my frightened state. I'm scared and aghast because the moment that dreaded me my whole life just passed by! The thing that I have been trying to prevent since I became a father has happened all along! And it was the moment that I become my father. What's worse is that my son has always seen me as his role model, in the same way that I idolized my Dad before.

I know there is still time for me to correct this. This is not how a father treats his children and I am now correcting my mistakes and filling those holes that I created in my son's little heart.  But now I fear that this experience, this event, will affect his personality so much that he will commit the same mistake that his grandfather and I made.

These are my thoughts. These are my feelings and this is a lesson. A lesson for me and for every guy out there.

Everyone can be a father... But only a few can be a real Daddy, Papa, Tatay, etc.

And as the song goes

I've long since retired, my sons moved away. 
I called him up just the other day. 
I'd like to see you, if you don't mind. 
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time. 
You see my new jobs a hassle and the kids have the flu, 
But it's sure nice talkin to you, dad. 
It's been sure nice talkin to you. 
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me, 
He'd grown up just like me. 
My boy was just like me. 

-Leonard

Papa Jack Tulfo

Papa Jack as one of the Tulfo Brothers

We were goofing around at a local convenience store when the guard changed the radio station to one of his local favorites; Papa Jack’s Radio Program. In Mega Manila, Papa Jack is a household favorite among teens when it comes to giving advices about Love and Relationships. He’s in league with other Love guru DJs like Papa Dan, Joe d’ Mango and Ramon Bautista among others.

Now on the other hand, the Tulfo brothers are known for their being Macho Journalists. Macho meaning they’re really tough when it comes to criticizing Politicians and those who abuse their authority.

Now, let’s get freaky. What if Papa Jack is one of the Tulfo Brothers?

I apologize if I will move forward using Filipino; we won’t give the scenarios justice if we use English.

Papa Jack: Caller number one, ano pong maitutulong ko?

Female Caller: E kasi po niloko po ako ng boypren ko, pinagpalit po nya ako sa ibang babae, huhuhu

Papa Jack: Aba’y sira ulo pala yang boypren mo e, tawagan natin ngayon yang boypren mo.

Borpren: Hello?

Papa Jack: Hello, si Papa Jack Tulfo ito, tumawag sakin tong gelpren mo’t umiiyak at ang sabi ay niloko mo daw, totoo ba ‘to?

Boypren: A, e, hindi ko na po kasi sya gusto kaya---

Papa Jack: Ah! Kaya pinagpalit mo sa iba? Anong klaseng magulang ba meron ka? Yan ba ang itinuturo sayo ng Nanay at Tatay mo? Alam mo iho, kung gusto mo lang namang makasakit ng kapwa mo e ako na lang ang mananakit sayo, magkulong tayo sa warehouse, tayong dalawa lang para maramdaman mo ang nararamdaman ng gelpren mo ngayon…

Now let’s see if the caller’s a guy:

Male Caller: Hello Papa Jack?

Papa Jack: O, anong maipaglilingkod ko?

Male Caller: E kasi po Papa Jack, yung girlfriend ko po e, nagkakagusto na yata sa iba, wala na yatang oras sa akin.

Papa Jack: Ah, matanong nga kita iho, ano ba ginagawa mo sa buhay?

Male Caller: Estudyante po, 3^rd Year High School

Papa Jack: kumusta naman ang mga grades mo? Mataas naman ba?

Male Caller: Ayos lang po, pasang awa

Papa Jack: Pasang awa?! Tapos ang lakas ng loob mong manligaw at mag gelpren? Aba’y napaka bata mo pa para magka-gelpren ah? E papano pag may nangyari sa inyo? Pag nabuntis mo? Pananagutan mo ba? Makakakuha ka ba ng maayos na trabaho gayong nasa 3^rd year high school ka pa lang? Alam mo iho, hindi basta basta ang pagpasok sa isang relasyon, lagi nilang sinasabi na rites of passage yan para sa mga ka-edad mo pero iba ang nangyayari, iba na ang panahaon ngayon! Hala’t matulog ka na at pag-aaral muna ang atupagin mo, sandali nga’t tawagan natin ang mga magulang mo…

Now what do you think? I think he will be a delight if he would give love advices this way rather than the mushy type conversation that airs every night. Maybe he can talk more sense into those troubled teens if he will come at them using this approach.

What do you think?

-Sheldon

Dependence

We all have this fantasy that we want to grow old with the one that we love, hence the lyrics of a movie soundtrack “I want to grow old with you”. Cut the crap! Said the broken ones but as we observe elders around us, we see pictures of them celebrating monthly anniversaries (is that a word?), holding hands while walking and even if their partner is no longer around, we see them live their day to day lives as if they still have their better half by their side. How? Why? What the heck?! Why not move on and look for a new one? How can a person move another person without being dependent on another? Let me tell you a story that my mom once read on the internet.

One day, passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he’d told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark. Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again. Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark’s need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But she was still so fragile, so angry-how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. “I’m blind!,” she responded bitterly. “How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you’re abandoning me.” Mark’s heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, and his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself. On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said, “Boy, I sure do envy you.” Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, “Why do you say that you envy me?” The driver responded, “It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are.” Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, “What do you mean?” The driver answered, “You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady.” Tears of happiness poured down Susan’s cheeks. Although she couldn’t physically see him, she had always felt Mark’s presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn’t need to see to believe-the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

Do we really need to rely on another person? Or is the one who taught us to love will be enough for our lifetime with or without them on our side?

-Howard

I need an HP Potion fast!

You're in a boss battle, HP=95/100, MP=76/100. Boss has only 3 hits left..

Then he executes his ULTIMATE UNBLOCKABLE ATTACK!!

BAM!

Your character died. Game Over.

Anak ng P**A!! G**O KA!! AAARRGGHH!!! PAAK -SSIIIYYEEETT!!!! AARGH!! 

(Sigh)

Ok.. Lemme do this again (background music: Eye of the tiger)

Oh the life of a gamer, the rage that comes with defeat and the satisfaction that's included in repeating the process with a different approach this time, of course. I've always been fascinated with video games. The story, the leading lady, the graphics, the awesome enemies, the awesome power that comes with the effort of defeating the boss; It's like reading a book but this time, the author gives you the illusion of control. Giving you a "free roam" world like in GTA or Assassin's Creed but are we really free? I mean, nothing's going to happen if you just keep on stealing cars and bikes? or throwing Molotovs at zombies or even stabbing a random video game citizen in the back. For fun. What's the use of all your 99x life if you don't push on and finish the task or mission. You won't get the unlockable weapon or get the unlimited life or mana or even save that stupid princess from eloping with that spiked turtle. But let's say you've finished your mission, you got the princess (..but the princess is in another castle!), you acquired that awesome weapon that eradicates everything you fire at. 

Let's just say you got all the unlockables and shit...

What now?

Do you move on to the next best or available game? Or do you re-play this awesome game so you can finish it without any damage to your character? Heck! Whatever you choose, it'll just be the same. You'll be stuck in a trap, get beaten by the enemy at least twice and then you fall in love with the new game. You come home early so that you have time to play before you sleep, you think about it before you sleep, though you just played with it a couple of minutes ago. And you're still following rules made by someone else.

And we're enjoying this! The illusion of control, of freedom, of the idea that if we die, we can redo things that  is supposed to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. That we can correct our mistakes and come out unscathed.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we can just take an HP potion and take all the pain and impurities from our body and just get on with our lives?

Think about it. What would you do?

-Leonard

The Baller in Me

“It’s not easy, to be, me…”

That line of a song pretty much summarizes my entire life. As a kid growing up, being bullied at one point, being the lamest all throughout, I’m surprised to see myself today. Being the not-so-gifted kid, physically, I was almost always at the crying end of everything. My friends would always tease me until I literally walk out of them, and I was always the last person to consider for something. I don’t know, I wasn't even a mean kid, but not all kids like me. I was never in front, I was a shadow.

There came a point where I shunned being with someone I do not know to the core. I can only goof around with selected friends. I was talkative. But I wasn't able to speak out for myself. I tried to be in. But was always the one being left out.

Imagine being a kid from a so-so family, with a paper-thin physique, with lots of things to say, but a few good friends to be with. I was a loser, a cry baby, and a burden to be with.

Confidence: -10

Self-esteem: -10

            

Kids from my elementary days like to tease me and eventually wants to have a fight with me, for I would never fight back, and for that they teased more. First, because I was afraid of my parents, and second, I can’t and will never be able to bear the pain. Mababaw pa luha ko, so I involuntarily gave them the satisfaction by just seeing tears from my eyes.  When I was in high school, I remember joining my classmates in playing basketball. I was surprised that even though we’re a complete set (10 players,) we didn't play a single game. It happened again when I was at our neighborhood. Only in my later years had I realized why nobody wanted to teamed up with me, it sure as hell that we’ll lose.

All I have was books, and my desire to be someone I wanted to be.

Giving up was never my option. I shifted my interest into sports, something that was not meant for someone like me. I practiced hard, I played a lot, I played with anyone – regardless of age and physique. I was never bobo, so I thought I just need to think better and ahead of them to play this sport well. And I did. After so much trying, so many practices, I can say I’m a better baller now. Basketball became my world, I watched a lot of games, live and on TV, to copy and see how others play. I even save up to be able to watch live professional basketball games. I read basketball books, I checked basketball websites. I became not only as a player, but also a basketball junkie.

           

The desire to outshine, outgrow and outplay my contemporaries was my main objective. I played with them. I was mad when my team is beaten. I was boastful when mine defeats them. I contacted people if they could enlist me to be their teammate. I played, and played some more.

            

One particular game that I remember was when I played with my former high school classmates. They were my tormentors. They were the monsters of my past. I was angry with them. I played aggressively, I played 5 straight games, and we managed to beat them 5 times. I was never exhausted. I never sat down and rested. And then it hit me.

            

That was the first time I enjoyed playing. I realized I was taller than them now, although I am still paper thin as before. I overcame my insecurities, I overcame my inferiority. I overcame the lame-me, and be the guy I wanted to be. I thanked them and never even bothered to take our pusta. I was happy I was not the outcast anymore.

            

Basketball is like life. You never give up, one must not. Giving up should never be in one’s list. Life goes on. It goes on and on and on. Players must play until there is time, as long as you can.  There would be hard fouls and cheap shots. There would be brick shots, missed open shots, and blocked lay-ups. There will always be taller and mean opponents. In basketball, opposing team won’t and will never ever give you a break. One must fight ‘til the buzzer sounds.

            

Life like basketball, means striving hard to stand out, take chance when there’s an opportunity. One must never take anything and anyone for granted. One shot could win, or lose, it all, and the least expected person could be the opponent’s best player. It’s giving your all, your all for your team.

            

I am glad I have done something to be proud of myself. I will never be a pro baller, nor a star player. But I will always be proud of myself that I was able to get up from where I fell down, and do the thing I love the most, which reminds of who I really am.

            

One only needs a “ball,” to make him love himself more, and basketball indeed, made me love myself even more.

            

Lastly, I learned that basketball like life is never about who won the game, but how you played the game.

-Raj

Office Romance

Romance in the office is a not so peculiar event in an employees life. Single guys and girls are often paired up, set up on dates and eventually get stuck in a relationship for as long as one of them is still employed in the same company. I've had my share of these, my co-workers often tells me that I take advantage of my position whenever a cute counter person gets hired in my former work and get away with it. But what would you do if a girl has the hots for you and the guy won't fall for the bait?

Typically, if you're a guy and just recently, find out that one of you're very attractive office mates (attractive office mates really are few in my office, trust me) likes you and you turn her down because of other priorities could probably mean that you're into something else. I'm a guy, I mean, why the hell do you turn her down? You tell her you like her and then turn your back because of some lame excuse? B.S.

Liking someone is not a matter of choice. you don't say you like someone and makeup an excuse that now is not the time. Imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes. I'm sure you've had experience when a girl turned you down.

For all we know, you could have been a perfect pair. You like each other so I don't see any problem that may arise soon. What matters is the present.

Well, that's my two cents worth.

Just Sayin'

-Sheldon

Parental Guidance

Not really a big fan of public display affection when  it comes to my parents, specially on my teenage days, but everything has changed on my 25th birthday, a lot of things happen that may have caused the change, either that year was the start of me getting my own place to live independently, or I just got older. I started saying "I love you" to my mom that never happened before and got a better relationship with my dad. I then realized how come we never appreciate them as much as we appreciate a stranger's small courtesy? As little as not preparing our breakfast right could break all hell loose for the day or could even last as long as you can remember, but never been given them thanks for giving us clothes, food, and everything that they have. On the other hand, a perfect stranger like a waiter for an example, gives you an extra smile, courtesy, greeting, rapport and it will be greatly appreciated and could make your day perfect and their day as awesome for the tip that they got from us.

I remember a story of a young boy running away from home because he was yelled at, and he just realized that he has not eaten dinner. On the streets of Manhattan he was starving and smelled good food at a nearby restaurant. He was at the backdoor when the cook saw him and asked, hey! What are you doing out here? It’s late and this is no place for children. I ran away from home, said the boy. It was about to rain so the Cook asked him to come in and offered a hot soup, the kid was hungry, but was shy and said, I have no money to pay for this. It's on the house!! The Cook said. The boy cried and was moved by the kindness and felt that he was in big debt, he then asked, how come you are so kind and gives food to a total stranger and my mom is so cruel she was yelling at me and chased me out of the house. The Cook signed: why do you think so? I only gave you a meal and you felt that way. Your mother had raised you since day 1 and why were you not grateful and ran away? The boy was surprised and asked, why didn't I think of that? He then rushed home and as he arrives home, his mother was dead worried in tears, they hug and they kid said he was sorry.

We all appreciate the small things that a "nobody" gives us and blindly let pass the great deeds our loves ones have sacrificed just to see us smile. Why?

-Howard